by Beverly McNeff

As readers of The Holy Encounter know, the Center turned forty-five this year, and we have been running articles about our history. This got me thinking about history in general and how it’s taught.

Back in the old days, when I was in school, our heroes were always so noble and true. For example, Christopher Columbus was the great, daring discoverer of America, and Abraham Lincoln was the saint who emancipated the slaves. Today we have learned that Columbus was not a very nice guy, and he really didn’t discover America. He only sailed as far as Central and South America and never really arrived at what we now call the United States. The only reason we attribute our founding to Columbus, who sailed for Spain, is that we didn’t want to credit John Cabot, who sailed under the English flag.

At the time we in this country were devising our history, we were at war with England, not Spain. The idea of giving the “glory” to Columbus rather than Cabot was more appealing. Therefore, it’s the District of Columbia and not the District of Cabot. In Lincoln’s case, he did end up being the great emancipator of African Americans, but not before he tried every way possible to keep the Union together if it meant not freeing the slaves.

With so much new light shed on these old stories of history, are we to judge and condemn those we have previously applauded? No, not at all. If anything, we can look at them with a new understanding that can help us see how the average person (with their flaws and less-than-perfect motives) can grow, change, and achieve great things.

Columbus helped establish a great deal of knowledge about trade winds and began a permanent presence of Europeans in North and South America. Lincoln, though he proposed five different ways to keep the concept of slavery alive in order to preserve the Union, eventually recognized that slavery could no longer be tolerated. These things were a process.

The Process of Healing

That’s how it is with forgiveness. It is a process of healing, not something to do or say just once and then we’re done with it. If you have ever tried to forgive a situation or person, you know that just when you think you’re done with it, that’s when the unforgiving thought decides to visit you at 2:00 in the morning when you can’t sleep.

A Course in Miracles offers us great wisdom when it says, “God is the love in which I forgive.” Of ourselves, we can’t forgive, for we see all the reasons that forgiveness is not warranted. On the other hand, God looks past the illusions we have made and focuses on the truth – the extension of love and the calls for love.

The Course’s counsel to focus on the extensions of love or the calls for love is so wise, yet we rarely do this except in hindsight. But even in hindsight, forgiveness still works. As we read in the first fifty miracle principles found in the text,

“They (miracles) undo the past in the present, and thus release the future.” (Principle 13)

Years ago, one of our Center’s study group attendees shared how he had recently experienced a miracle with his mother, who had died many years ago. He never had a very good relationship with her and did not see her as a very loving person. Recently, his six-year-old son wanted him to make cupcakes to take to school for his birthday. His son was very specific that the chocolate cupcakes needed to have white frosting and the white cupcakes needed to have chocolate frosting, and the sprinkles needed to adorn the cupcakes in a certain way, etc. He wanted to do it just like his son asked and realized how much work went into doing a project like this.

As he was doing all this, he had a flashback to when he was a boy. He said he remembered that from when he started school until he was in about 7th grade, his mother had always made lemon-filled cupcakes with meringue topping and brought them to school for his birthday. He never realized until that moment when he was making those cupcakes for his son how much work his mother went to in order to prepare those cupcakes … baking the cupcakes, cutting out the center to fill it with lemon filling, preparing and topping them with meringue, and then baking the meringue to a golden finish. Plus, his mother didn’t drive, so he had no idea how she got the cupcakes there, but somehow, she did.

In that moment of realization of what she had done for him – her extension of love – so much hurt and anger fell away. He was able to see her in a new way. A miracle had entered his mind, and at that moment, he could see the truth about his mother that all his judgments had prevented him from experiencing. It didn’t matter if she was no longer walking this earth; he was able to allow forgiveness to reign in his mind, and in doing so, he was released. He was released from being haunted by an image of an angry, uncaring mother, and was now free to experience the love that he is entitled to through the miracle of forgiveness.

A Return to Sanity

The Course so wisely redefines forgiveness by saying that it is the return to sanity. It tells us that fear condemns, and love forgives. When we forgive, we are returning our minds to the presence of God. When we dwell with God, fear has no hold. “For this reason, forgiveness can truly be called salvation. It is the means by which illusions disappear.” (W-46.2)

Why would we want to focus on an illusion? Have you ever gone to a scary movie, gotten caught up in it, jumped and screamed, and then walked out saying, “Boy, I’m glad that was just a movie”? It’s the same for the movie of our minds. We have written the script and directed a doozy of a scary movie, but it doesn’t have to keep scaring us, unless we want to keep focusing on the illusion.

Forgiveness becomes the means by which we see each other the way God sees us. Do you really think God sees the person you’re angry at as that “S.O.B.”? Maybe the story of a nine-year-old can lead the way for all of us.

A while back, NPR ran a story about a nine-year-old boy named Josef Miles. On Mother’s Day weekend in Topeka, Kansas, Josef and his mom put up a different type of sign from what was normally seen by the congregation of the Westboro Baptist Church. This church had gained notoriety for its hateful signs protesting homosexuality, abortion rights, and even disrespecting the funerals of military veterans.

Josef had seen their signs in the past, especially ones that featured an objectionable F-word when referring to homosexuals. He asked his mom why they were using a hate word, and she explained they were upset with men who love men and women who love women. The signs were reading that God hated these people. The young nine-year-old thought for a moment and said to his mom, “God hates no one. We should put up that sign.”

She asked him why he said that, and Josef replied, “Because that is the truth.”

So Josef took out his notepad, wrote his own sign, and held it up. His mom took the picture, posted it, and it went viral. His mom said that the protesters at Westboro were respectful to her son. Perhaps on that day, they saw the same message of truth that Josef knew in his heart, “God hates no one.”

What is God Thinking

I have shared the following passage many times, but it always bears repeating because it makes us stop and realize what we are doing and not doing. It rhetorically asks: what are you thinking that God would not think, and what are you not thinking that God would think? It then tells us that if we truly want peace and truly want to be healed, then we must change our minds to think with God. It is the only sane thing to do.

For many, this seems too hard to do, but the Course reminds us that our mind is one with God. Denying this, therefore, and not joining our thoughts with God keeps our egos intact but “has literally split your mind.” (T-4:IV.2:8)

We have all heard the saying, you can’t serve two masters. We can’t serve the ego and God, not because it’s a bad thing to do but because they are mutually exclusive. It’s like trying to compare apples and oranges. When our minds rest in God (love), there is no ego (fear), but when our minds are dwelling on fear (ego thoughts), then there is no love (awareness of God). The only caveat to this statement is the fact that God is always present, because we are creations of Him – we’re just not aware of it when we are consumed with our fearful thinking. No thinking, though, can discount or change our reality in any way.

The Course tells us that forgiveness is a correction of our perception, so it can also be called a correction of our history. The Course defines forgiveness as “a selective remembering, based not on your selection.” (T-17.III.1) It is remembering only the loving thoughts you have given and those that were given to you, and everything else must be forgotten. It is a desire to see your brother as yourself. It is your way out of hell.

Forgiveness becomes our course correction so that we can be released from the past. That’s why the Course doesn’t spend much time discussing how we could have possibly separated from our reality in God. The Course tells us we are a thought in the mind of God. We cannot be unthought, but we can choose not to remember. Our amnesia, though, cannot separate us from our Source.

Parents and children are a good analogy for this idea. Even though a family might have estrangement, the parent and child will always be connected. Therefore, healing our “estrangement” with God becomes the focus of every unforgiving thought we experience. This means we don’t have to go back in our minds to find everyone we have not forgiven; we can use the experience that stands before us now, knowing that each one represents all the others. Much like a domino effect, when you tap over the first one in a series, all the others also fall.

Forgiveness is Acquired

Allowing forgiveness to rest on any angry, judgmental, or fearful thoughts starts the process of releasing us from all our past mistakes. It’s the good ole crock pot analogy. If you have ever cooked with a crock pot, you know that you put your food in, turn it on, and in about ten hours, you have a delicious meal. The slow cooking process is what makes the food delicious. But if you don’t put the food in, turn it on, and have the willingness to wait, nothing happens. For us to reap the benefits of our perpetual connection with God, we must become aware of it, turn to the love that is our reality, and have the willingness to allow the process to take place. Any unforgiving thought that stands before us represents our opportunity to be released from hell now.

“Forgiveness is acquired. It is not inherent in the mind, which cannot sin. As sin is an idea you taught yourself, forgiveness must be learned by you as well, but from a Teacher other than yourself, Who represents the other Self in you. Through Him you learn how to forgive the self you think you made, and let it disappear. Thus you return your mind as one to Him Who is your Self, and Who can never sin.” (W-121.6)

This passage from Lesson 121 in the workbook helps us understand forgiveness. As the Course tells us, forgiveness is an illusion because nothing can separate us from the mind of God, and that is the basis of every unforgiving thought, whether we are aware of it or not. Just as sin was a thought we taught ourselves (as guilt for the fact that we thought we could be separate from God), forgiveness becomes an acquired thought, as well, but one directed by the Holy Spirit to release us from our self-made prison of guilt.

For this reason, the Course teaches us that forgiveness is not of God, but love is. God cannot forgive because He has never condemned, but His love becomes the basis of our forgiveness. Just as a boat needs water to float, forgiveness needs love to carry out its healing mission.

When anger, fear, doubt, etc., enter our minds, let us affirm, “God is the love in which I forgive (this person, idea, or fear).” You may wonder if this makes any difference at all, but we are assured in the Course that it does. Just as you may not see a crock pot cooking, fingernails growing, or a cut healing under a scab, we know the process is taking place. So it is with forgiveness. Forgiveness takes place the moment we are willing to allow our minds to be released from the fear and pain of the illusory past and focus on the power of love. Forgiveness works because love works. And love works because our collective history of fear is powerless in the face of God.

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