by Beverly McNeff
Most of us remember the children’s song, “The Itsy-Bitsy Spider.” It tells us that the itsy-bitsy spider went up the water spout, down came the rain, and washed the spider out. Out came the sun and dried up all the rain, and the itsy-bitsy spider went up the spout again.
If you’ve ever sung this little ditty to a child, you know you don’t just do it once but many, many times. That itsy-bitsy spider crawls up that spout and gets washed out over and over again, but he keeps coming back for more. Now, there are two points of view that can be taken from this little song: 1) that the itsy-bitsy spider doesn’t learn anything and just keeps making the same mistake over and over again, suffering the same consequences, or 2) that the itsy-bitsy spider has persistence in the face of adversity. The itsy-bitsy spider song is not a profound metaphysical truth, but it does bring up some interesting questions. Are we doomed to repeat the same mistakes in life over and over again? Or, is life about developing a persistence of faith in the face of adversity; therefore, as we repeat those mistakes over and over again (perhaps in a different form with the same content), we are recognizing them as mistakes that can be corrected and thereby break the cycle of repetition.
The itsy-bitsy spider song is not a profound metaphysical truth, but it does bring up some interesting questions.
A Course in Miracles tell us that, “Trials are but lessons that you failed to learn presented once again, so where you made a faulty choice before you now can make a better one, and thus escape all pain that what you chose before has brought to you.” (T-31.VIII.3) It’s telling us we may face trials but we can learn from them and thus escape the pain we may have felt before. It all depends on the perspective we use for our lives: the truth that we are never alone and that all situations present us with the opportunity to awaken to God, or the illusion that tells us we are alone, floating aimlessly through a world of futility. Each one can seem very real to us, even though only one is true.
Every day we face many “trials” in our lives. Some of us may feel like that itsy-bitsy spider who keeps struggling up the spout only to be washed out and have to start all over again. It sometimes seems fruitless to start again, but that is because we have chosen to look at life from the ego’s perspective. From its perspective the world and all its challenges are a place to reinforce our sense of separation and worthlessness. Where suffering, attack, and death seem justified and actually a “reward” for a life “well” lived. The Course, however, reminds us that as much as we may “cherish” this world by our acceptance of it and faith in it, there is another purpose in the world established by another Maker whose only purpose is to heal our minds so that we may see the situations of the world “but justifies forgiveness and the sight of perfect sinlessness.” (T-25.III.5:2)
It may seem almost impossible at times to imagine everything that happens in this world becomes an opportunity to see forgiveness and innocence, but the Course tells us that God would never leave us alone in our insanity and pain. Therefore, He would be sure His Sanity went with us wherever we went through the help of the Holy Spirit who works in our minds to show us another way to look at our worldly situations. That doesn’t mean that we won’t see situations that seem to justify anger, war, or attack, but now we will see them as events to justify our love, peace, and forgiveness.
The movie Silver Linings Playbook deals with mental illness — the stigmas and triumphs. Matthew Quick’s novel The Silver Linings Playbook is the story of a young man struggling with bipolar disorder, and it was a perfect fit for director David O. Russell whose 18-year-old son struggles with the condition himself. In the movie, actor Bradley Cooper plays the young man with this condition who struggles to get his life back on track. He does it with medication, dancing, and a focus on finding a silver lining in the midst of life’s toughest lessons. At times his focus is very conditional, but, in the end, it becomes clear that his healing (his silver lining) comes as the result of his willingness to forgive, to honor his commitments to others, and allow love (without conditions) to enter his life.
What better way to live than facing life with a focus on finding our silver linings. Staying in our feelings of upset, disappointment, or bitterness is like living our lives as if we had blinders on — our perspective is limited to the blinders’ view. The only world we see is that of our painful making. But, if we were to take off our blinders and look all around, we would see a broader perspective, and, if we invited the Holy Spirit in, a healed perspective.
A few years back, Robin Williams starred in the movie Patch Adams, based on the true story of Dr. Hunter “Patch” Adams. The movie showed one man’s struggle to change the aloof and often uncaring side of the medical profession through genuine care and concern – and with a healthy dose of humor. Adam’s change really begins in a mental institution to which he had committed himself after attempting suicide. In the institution he finds what is to be his salvation: his ability to deeply care and listen to his fellow patients; and, with humor, help them face their problems. When Adams first enters the institution, a fellow patient rushes up to him waving four fingers asking him, “How many do you see?” Startled, Adams answers four to which the inmate disgustingly waves him off proclaiming how stupid he was. Later this same man, a once brilliant businessman, befriends Adams and answers the “fingers” question by telling him not to look at his fingers but to look past them. When you do this you see eight fingers, not four. He tells Adams that if we only look at the problem, we cannot find the solution. We must look through our problems to see our answers.
We cannot find our answers when we are stuck in our own version of what the problem is. Workbook lesson 79 from the Course says, “Let me recognize the problem so it can be solved.” We are told that even if we cannot let go of all our preconceived notions about our problems, we can at least entertain some doubt about the reality of our version of the problem so we can see that the answer and the problem are not separate from each other. The slightest doubt that things are not always as they may appear is enough for God to get through to us in our minds. We are simply asked to suspend our judgment of the world we see so that another perspective can come to us…as the Course asks us to say, “Now let a new perception come to me.” (L313) If you think about it, all inventions, scientific discoveries, and social changes have come because someone said, in one way or another, “Now let a new perception come to me.”
Through an invitation such as this, we are opening our minds up to the Answer that God has given us to our problems. No matter how dark our world may seem or how many times we may be “washed out of the water spout” like the itsy-bitsy spider, we are not alone and helpless. We are told, “Everyone has entered darkness, yet no one has entered it alone. Nor need he stay more than an instant. He has come with Heaven’s Help within him, ready to lead him out of darkness into light at any time.” (T-25.III.6) We will face challenges, for we have entered “darkness” (which is synonymous with ignorance and the thought that we could be separate from our Creator and each other), but we don’t have to stay in this thought. We are not alone; God has given us Sanity in our insanity; He has given us the Holy Spirit. Together we can face life’s challenges and see that of the two choices from the two makers of the world, only one is real and that is the one that offers peace and forgiveness.
Living this awareness is a process. The Course tells us that everyone we meet, see, or think of gives us the chance to find ourselves or lose ourselves. Meaning, how we experience others becomes the world we justify and choose: a world of isolation, pain, and darkness or a world of compassion, peace, and joy. The Course offers us this help:
“Let all your brother’s errors be to you nothing except a chance for you to see the workings of the Helper given you to see the world He made instead of yours. What, then, is justified? What do you want? For these two questions are the same. And when you see them as the same, your choice is made. For it is seeing them as one that brings release from the belief there are two ways to see. This world has much to offer to your peace, and many chances to extend your own forgiveness. Such its purpose is, to those who want to see peace and forgiveness descend on them, and offer them light.” (T-25.III.7:2)
The Course seems to be offering us a clue as to how we can experience peace in our world. First it tells us again that every experience with another either reinforces our belief in the ego’s illusory world of pain, suffering, and futility, or in the truth of the Holy Spirit’s world which offers us peace and forgiveness. It then says, whenever you are confronted with a situation ask yourself, “What is justified in this situation? What do I want?” It cautions us to recognize that the two questions are the same. If we feel vengeance against another is justified for us to experience peace, we must realize that peace will never be ours. If we want peace in our lives (and we all want peace), we cannot justify attack in any form. The only thing that is possible to offer another is forgiveness — not because of what they have done, but because we want to see the world God would have us see and experience peace and the blessings of forgiveness.
To realize that forgiveness is the only possible response in any situation does not mean that we become “door mats.”
To realize that forgiveness is the only possible response in any situation does not mean that we become “door mats.” It means that we are willing for a new perspective (instead of guilt, anger, or attack) to come to our minds the next time we are faced with adversity. We don’t want to struggle between two worlds: the ego’s or the Holy Spirit’s. We want the consistency of peace that only the Holy Spirit’s way can offer us. Remember, God does not ask us to sacrifice, so if we feel He is asking us to give up something that we feel would be a sacrifice, better ask again…it’s probably our ego trying to look “spiritual.” We may give things up, but it will never be with a feeling of regret but rather a feeling of completion as when a child has given up a toy that he had once cherished because he’s now outgrown it. The above passage is asking us to let the Holy Spirit lead the way to His world, which may look nothing like our world, and yet it is! How do we get there? Well, we don’t have to fall through a looking glass like Alice or click our heels like Dorothy, all we need do is love one another. Although falling through a looking glass or clicking our heels might seem easier at times, the benefit far out-weighs the unwillingness, especially when we realize that the Holy Spirit does the work, not us. Our part is to be willing to forgive our brothers, and He will do the rest.
When faced with a person whom you feel has “turned the water on the itsy-bitsy spider and washed you out,” ask first, “What is justified? What do I want?” They may have been unfair and cruel, but to attack back would not bring peace, and, after all, isn’t peace what we are all looking for? If we want peace in our lives we must recognize that the only thing that is justified in any situation is our forgiveness — and then let the Holy Spirit do what He was sent to do for us and the world.
Going back to the movie Patch Adams, I heard an interesting story that the actual Patch Adams received no money from Hollywood using his life story; whereas the producers and studios made over 200 million dollars on the movie. It was said that the opening weekend amount of 25 million dollars would be more than enough to build the Gesundheit Institute that Adams had dreamed about for years where every patient would be treated, without concern for their ability to pay. Even though Adams received no revenue from the movie, he chose to see the “eight fingers instead of the four.” Since the movie came out, he has received donations and support from around the world from people from all walks of life who were (because of the movie) given a chance to feel a vital part of his work.
It may have appeared that Hollywood “washed out” Adams like the itsy-bitsy spider, but the attention shone on his work “dried up all the rain.” So, do we curse those we feel have “done-us-wrong” or do we let the Holy Spirit show us that what we might see as an attack “is but another altar where we can, with equal ease and far more happiness, bestow forgiveness.” (T-25.III.6:7)
We may wonder why “bad” things happen to us, but instead of concentrating on the “whys,” how about asking ourselves, “What do we want to come of this now?” If we want peace and happiness, then the way we must treat others in our lives is obvious; attack, anger, and bitterness are not an option. God’s Answer is always with us to “dry up all the rain” and then we can go up the spout again with a new and healed perspective.