Miracle Distribution Center - A Course in Miracles Resource Center

What is the Course? Will it exist in the 21st Century?

First, a disclaimer: The information I give here about the early days of the Course is sprinkled with a few direct observations but comes primarily from many conversations my wife, Gayle, and I had with Bill Thetford over the years. If there are any inaccuracies, please chalk these up to my faulty memory of what Bill told us, because nothing here is taken from books and biographies about the Course.

Bill thought it amusing that many "official" details about how the Course came were not what he recalled, even though he was by that time the only one alive who had been there from the beginning. For instance, once he laughed and said, "Now they're saying the Course came over a period of ___ years. I always thought it was ___ years." For reasons that I hope will become clearer as we go along, my purpose is not to correct historical details, and for that reason I am not getting into them. "Getting into details" instead of getting into God is what causes all the trouble.

The lesson for Gayle and me was that although Bill disagreed with some of the "facts" that were being recorded about his and Helen's lives, and some of the actions that were being taken in the name of the Course, he did not feel the need to impose his position on other people. However, please note that he did have a position on these and many other subjects, and, primarily as a form of humor, he often would voice his position.

It simply isn't possible to have an ego and yet have no position, no opinions, no attitudes. In fact, when we look at our minds honestly, we see that we have mixed feelings and multiple opinions about almost everything. It is how we respond to our positions, to our own points of view--not staying unaware of them--that determines our sense of wholeness and peace. Bill's gentle example was: Do not become preoccupied with your position--which you inescapably will do if you try to force it on someone else.

In 1978, Gayle and I met Bill Thetford, Judy and Bob Skutch, Jerry Jampolsky, and several other people associated with the Course, all of whom were living in Tiburon at the time. Even though there was an underlying sense of family and mutual support among these people, several of them seemed to be wrestling with two contrasting attitudes toward the Course. One was that the Course needed protecting and promoting. In those days, this point of view was still quite weak because the original thinking--during the period when the Course was being turned over to The Foundation for Inner Peace--was that "the Course is for everyone" and shouldn't even be copyrighted, which of course would mean that no one organization could control it.

There is an interesting parallel between the early days of the Course and the early days of Christian Science. Mary Baker Eddy, like Helen, felt that she was writing down a teaching that was coming to her from a higher source. I believe it is no coincidence, especially since this same attitude was present in the early days of Unity and many other spiritual teachings, that Mrs. Eddy's original impulse was not to copyright and not to organize.

In the case of A Course in Miracles, this attitude was most clearly embodied in Bill Thetford's light-hearted and humorous perspective that the Course could take care of itself, that it merely pointed to a Truth that could never be contained in words, and that no harm could come from doing what it says, which is: forget it and turn to God. For example, I know of two separate times when Bill advised people who were arguing about "what the Course meant" to "tear the page out," because, he said, "nothing should come between you and your brother." If only one manuscript of the Course existed, and if we had all followed Bill's advice, it is safe to say that by now there would be no pages left. And in many ways, that might be a good thing!

Until Bill died, the Course, for the most part, rocked gently on a sea of flexibility and good humor. And despite some very crazy uses that its words were put to by various individuals and groups, no real harm was done. As a consequence, I naively thought that the Course was going to be the first spiritual teaching to escape becoming a tool of separation. But my thinking that the Course was different was part of the mistake many of us were making. Even though separation had overtaken the teachings of Muhammad, the Buddha, Jesus, Lao Tzu, the Prophets, and even "The Big Book" (AA), how could it happen, I said to myself, to the only teaching that contained nothing but oneness and forgiveness? In other words, how could separation overtake a teaching that was so separate?

It could happen and it has happened. In my opinion, it has occurred for the same reason that many devout Hindus practice subjugation and slavery. For the same reason that children are slaughtered in the name of Mohammed. For the same reason that students of the Buddha make statues of gold in the image of his body. And for the same reason that Jesus -- who taught that we should give all we have to the poor, practice total forgiveness, and devote ourselves to each other -- became the symbol of the most prejudiced and privileged segment of our culture.

But the lesson for those of us who have chosen A Course in Miracles as our path, the lesson that we must now take--in fact are being forced to take--into the 21st century, is to distinguish between the book and the Reality that the book points to. Only what is separate about the Course, only the part that is in the world--only the part that you and I have been instructed to forget--can be manipulated. A book is mere words, and in Lesson 1 we have already been gently led--perhaps some would say divinely tricked --into looking at it and saying, "This book does not mean anything."

Merely the Course's words can be seen by egos. Merely the words can be taken away from this person, given to that person, used for money, used for litigation and sanctions, used for titles and certificates, and used to leave behind a now long trail of resentment, anger, financial loss, hurt feelings, and bitter righteousness. But what does God have to do with all that insanity? Nothing. Words are just words, and the Course itself assures us that our need for words is almost over.

Make no mistake; the inevitable march toward separation has nothing to do with the particular egos involved. The world is nothing but separation. Regardless of what individuals do or don't do, everything in the world eventually becomes a force for still more separation. This fact should not sadden, us but free us to let go of what was never a part of God in the first place. God is not a book.

As I suggested earlier, it is virtually impossible to do the first lesson in the Course without saying, "This book does not mean anything." But if we really believed that, how could we possibly fight about who should control it or what that control should look like? We can try to control the controllers of the book, or we can turn to God. We can be preoccupied with who is and who is not allowed to make money off the book, or we can turn to God. We can argue about which ego can interpret the book best, or we can turn to God.

So what will happen to the book in the 21st century? My guess is that it will continue to decline in popularity and eventually become so associated with the organizations and personalities that war over it that they will become its meaning in the eyes of the public. The words "A Course in Miracles" will end up symbolizing something quite unlike their true meaning, just as has happened on a much larger scale with the words "Christian," "Jesus," and "the Bible."

But none of this will matter to you because the truth will still be true. Love will still be all around you. The holy light of God will still shine within you. And the One who has never left your side will bring you safely home. I suspect that even in the world, the Source of the thousand courses that have already come will send us a thousand more, and a thousand after that, and still more after that, until at last we see that it is not the form that any true teaching takes that has meaning. All that has meaning is the one Reality they point to.

What, then, is our function regarding the Course in the 21st century? It is to be acutely aware of the world's call to separate and love more God's call to come home.

A few years ago, I attended a gathering where I saw many of the people associated with the Course that Gayle and I had gotten to know in the 70's. As I said earlier, I am aware of no teaching that emphasizes innocence and unity in more straightforward terms than A Course in Miracles. I know of no teaching that ranks itself more clearly as just one of many, as a temporary aid only, and as helpful to some but not to all. A Course in Miracles simply does not present itself as a superior or even a permanent teaching, and, in my opinion, the heart of the teaching is that we must turn from our belief that we are individually "special" to the recognition that we are not only equal but one with each other and one with God.

What effect does the long-term study of such a teaching have on its students? I was surprised that after twenty years it was the opposite of what I expected. With two or three exceptions, everyone I saw at the gathering was far more separate and egocentric than they were when Gayle and I first met them. In fact, their egos were so large that many of them had lost the ability to carry on a simple conversation. They made pronouncements and listened deeply to no one. I was appalled, and when I returned home, I said to Gayle, "If this has happened to most of our Course friends, is there any chance it hasn't happened to us?"

The answer was that indeed it had happened to us. Even though we had long noticed the unhelpful effects of most religions and spiritual teachings on their students, we had thought that as Course students we were immune--because the Course emphasizes reversing this very dynamic. If the dynamic is not the fault of the teaching or religion itself--and in most cases it clearly is not--what mistakes do students make that cause it?

When Gayle and I finally looked at ourselves honestly, we discovered that although we had been ministers and spiritual teachers for many years and had written over a dozen books on spiritual themes, we personally had not become kinder or even more sane through our devotion. We, like most individuals, started a spiritual path with the intention of becoming better people and finding ways to be truly helpful, only to move in the opposite direction. The more time and thought we had put into teaching and writing about our path, the more self-absorbed we had become. We had ended up less flexible, less forgiving, and less generous than we were when we first started our path!

What we had actually learned was how to mask our egos, act spiritual, and make our own thoughts less conscious. In addition, we had accumulated hundreds of new spiritual concepts, which, unfortunately, is the primary standard by which spiritual teachers are judged (as well, of course, as TV pundits, columnists, politicians, non-fiction authors, talking-head experts, and the like.).

As happened to us, most devout people seem unaware that these changes are occurring. They think they are making good progress, until one day--if they are lucky--they come face-to-face with the fact that their worst impulses have been growing in power and influence over them. In lieu of a true awakening, they make an unconscious determination that they have arrived, or that they have come close enough to the end of the journey that the remaining distance is of no consequence and requires very little of their attention.

There are clearly many individual exceptions to these generalizations, but not as many as we thought there would be when we began studying the phenomenon. This discovery has led us to place far greater emphasis on exposing the ways that the ego takes over spiritual efforts. Because the fact is, the day you started your spiritual path, your ego started it also, and for every spiritual motive you have, there is an ego motive as well. This is not reason to be afraid, but it is reason to be more aware.

Those individuals we know intimately who we believe are close to being awake, seem to have no interest in contrasting themselves with other people. Generally speaking, they live simple, ordinary lives. They are comfortable if not restful to be around. Their time is usually devoted to unimportant things and their hearts to "unimportant" people. They have no inflexible concepts or rigid patterns and there is nothing particularly unusual about the subjects they choose to talk about, or anything outstanding in the personal mannerisms they exhibit. They are easily pleased, and often they are happy for no apparent reason. Because their own egos are no longer destructive, they find other people's egos amusing and endearing. Above all, they are equal and familiar. They would not be good subjects for a magazine profile. And yet, into the mundane, everyday circumstances of their lives, they quietly pour their comfort and their peace.

Bill Thetford was such a person. He didn't talk the Course. He didn't write books about the Course. He very seldom made public statements about the Course, and then only because someone had pleaded with him to do so. What Bill did was quietly and happily live the Course. And even though he saw that this was the best approach, he never said to his Course friends: "You can either teach the Course or live it, but you probably won't succeed in doing both." In this way he was truly a "teacher of God" because he taught in the way the Manual defines teaching.

Does this mean those who lecture or write about the Course have turned down a dark side road? Certainly not. Does it mean that anyone who loves discussing metaphysical ideas has lost his or her way? Certainly not. But it does mean that those who coat themselves in spiritual concepts run the risk of thinking that they are the concepts. It's not hard to notice that the people in our culture who are conspicuously devout and talk continuously about God usually begin to take on an all-knowing, all-seeing attitude. In other words, in their own minds they have become the God they profess.

"Everyone is on a path," many openly devout people say. But what they seem to be thinking is, "I, however, am on a spiritual path." In other words, "Now that I believe in oneness, I see that you and I are not one."

From having fallen into this trap ourselves, we realize that nothing is more selfish or separating than thinking that you, personally, have a higher approach to life than most other people. How could one person's way possibly be superior to another person's way if God is leading us all?

It's ironic that individuals with strong spiritual beliefs often have larger egos, are more rigid, are more unconsciously judgmental, and are more uncomfortable to be around than people who have little interest in pursuing mystical, religious, or metaphysical teachings. Those who value the concept of oneness often lack the desire to feel oneness and equality with anyone.

The ego part of us does not act independently of our wishes, because it is us--at least that is our evident and deeply felt conviction. If we are still judgmental of our teenager; then we still want to be judgmental of our teenager. If we are still confused about what our partner wants from us, then we still want to be confused. Obviously, believing in oneness doesn't automatically decrease the desire for oneness, and many people both believe in it and practice it. Yet it's interesting how often we trumpet what we ourselves fail to do and criticize in others what we ourselves do regularly.

Ironically, those who think they have the smallest egos usually have the largest egos. The self-proclaimed "seekers of truth" often have personal superiority as their unconscious agenda and end up convincing themselves that they have attained it. Those who think of themselves as normal, ordinary, and equal, and who are quite aware of their many limitations, simply are not tempted to believe that they personally can discover a spiritual truth that other people are unaware of. And yet, by definition, that is what a "seeker of truth" believes.

A Course in Miracles can survive in the 21st century, in fact it can transform the 21st century, if those who see the Reality it points to choose to extend themselves beyond their ego boundaries and make the interests of another their own. Awakening is not joining with some shining concept in the sky. It is joining with each other. It is lived and expressed in the hundreds of small encounters, errands, and tasks that fill each day. Only instant by instant do we choose to see our sameness, our equality, and our oneness with others. Only by loving do we wake to Love. Only by extending peace do we wake to Peace.

Every day we have hundreds of little encounters with other people in our activities and in our minds. In each of these contacts we leave something behind, and that something determines whether the Course continues to exist. Only by giving the tiny miracles of understanding, support, forbearance, and happiness can we assure that this precious teaching does not fall on dead ears and dead hearts. Let us walk away from the bloody battlefield where egos fight for the rights to ego words. That was never where the Course was in the first place. God is now. God is here. We never left home. So let us be happy that God's arms are still around us. His heart is still our heart. His eyes are still our eyes. He is all there is.

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How to Appear Enlightened (For Men Only)

A man recently sent an email to my radio show saying that he had been dumped by his girlfriend because he wasn't spiritual enough. That day he also heard another woman make the same complaint about her boyfriend. His question was, What does it take to appear enlightened to women? This got me thinking about how we assess each other's levels of attainment and what passes for spirituality within the "body-mind-spirit" or "new age" community.

True spirituality is the recognition of oneness or equality, and so nothing could be further from enlightenment than to compare ourselves to others and conclude that we are further along. But no one I know is ready to ascend, so maybe we all secretly make these judgments. Surely, though, no man should be dateless because he doesn't understand what is spiritually correct.

There are different standards within different groups. People who attend Unity or other "new thought" churches will emphasize different characteristics than those, say, who are in A Course in Miracles groups or who run in Western-style Buddhist circles. Then there are the people who (thankfully) buy a lot of self-help books, tapes, and calendars but don't identify with only one path. Yet it seems to me there is a lot of overlapping, and it's from this pool of common denominators that I made my list of 10 spiritual do's and don'ts for men who need help getting a date.

1. Never say "Hello." Say "Namaste." Be sure to hold your hands together. Second choice, "Aloha." Always explain that it means both "hello" and "goodbye."
2. When shaking hands with a woman, gently lay your left hand on top.
3. Never say, "You look great!" Say, "You have a great aura today." Or say, "You have such a beautiful glow."
4. Bring Joseph Campbell into the conversation as much as possible. A good quote to use on a date is, "We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." Second choice, the Dalai Lama. Good date quote: "The purpose of life is to be happy."
5. If your date asks you, "Are you taking anything for that?" say, "A homeopathic remedy." If she asks you, "Are you doing anything for that?" say, "I'm seeing my acupuncturist tomorrow."
6. If anyone beside your date says they are vegetarian, immediately announce you are vegan. If they say "past life," always bring up "parallel lives." If they refer to 'The' Course in Miracles, say, "It's A Course in Miracles," and tell them why.
7. Be sure to dress the part also. Never wear leather accessories. Never wear synthetic fibers. Never wear a shirt with the name of a corporation, designer or "Ultimate Fighting Championship" prominently displayed.
8. A good overall look is white cotton (as in "white light") and sandals (the footwear of the Master).
9. If it gets this far, never say about the sex, "Wow!" or "You're really good!" Say it was "mystical." Or say, "You must have been studying Tantra Yoga."
10. If there's a chance she will walk out with you to your pickup, lose the nude-girl mud flaps.

Naturally it's cool to be spiritual rather than just appear so. The shortcut way to do that is simply to be kind. To wrap ourselves in the symbols of spirituality rather than allowing it to come from the heart -- for example, to say the right words just to get someone in bed -- betrays our self as well as the other person. If someone finds our deeper self off-putting, chances are that is not a relationship worth pursuing

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The Journey Home

At the start of our journey, the experience of Love may appear to come and quickly go. And for many of us there will be long periods of comparative bleakness. Yet beneath it all will be a growing sense of innocence and a deepening conviction that a Friend walks beside us and holds our hand in gentleness. It eventually becomes clear that we have not been abandoned by Reality but only chose to look away awhile.

All of us experience tragedies in our lives; some of us, of course, far more devastating than others. Yet we all know fear and loss. We also experience triumph and joy. At times the world seems perilous and at times a place of hope. But the one thing it can never give us is constancy, and because of that we must never let down our guard, never relax into certainty. The world demands constant vigilance.

Regardless of how we perceive our lives, nothing external can deprive us of our Home. If the world is constantly changing, there is still one Place of rest and beauty that remains unchanged, always present and ever with us.

What then must we do to wake to the recognition that Reality has never changed? We need merely open our eyes. Instead of beginning still another useless search for small advantages, we must look honestly at the nature of what continuously shifts, for it can never give us what we long for--a real home that cannot be destroyed, lost or even betrayed. In place of a chaotic vision we must choose Love, not only because it is fair to all but because it is a simple fact, and the only one there is.

To recognize Love as real is never again to desire a compromise decision. We turn from a world of conflict, from all it seemed to hold out to us but never relinquished, and from all it appeared to do to us that we have not sufficiently avenged. We withdraw from that useless, endless fight and accept freedom instead. We turn and face the Light. No more than this.

And if we find we have not freed ourselves completely, we practice awhile longer only on what will make a difference: Charity without identification with pain. Gentleness that is strong and consistent. And happiness that is not snatched and is not hidden.

Each time we practice love, we open our eyes a little further on the Place of Love. Love is our means and our end. It is our Home, our Family, and our Identity. That evidence, seen and felt, reveals the emptiness of dreams. But if we treat the means of our awaking as a trinket, something merely to be worn occasionally like some clever adornment, it will have no deep meaning for us and cannot disclose its limitless worth.

Perhaps this seems impractical. There is always so much to do, so many things to consider. Perhaps it seems insensitive in the face of tragedy and evil, or too pessimistic in light of the beauty and grandeur that also characterize the world.

There are innumerable reasons not to have faith in another Reality. But if we dwell on them, we cannot experience the freedom and joy of a peace that is not dependent on external events, because now our happiness is contingent on the future, and the future will not be controlled.

It is easy to argue against a Truth that does not separate one individual from another, a God who does not judge and seek vengeance. For many centuries the world has described the Divine in precisely this way, and just looking around at ordinary life seems to prove the point.

Many people have sought to make God a huge irritated infant who sits above us playing with a magic wand, a super ego who we hope hates our enemies yet capriciously punishes or rewards both the wicked and the good. But in the stillness of our heart, we know this is not true.

We also know that God is not contained in a particular religion or system of beliefs. We know that even the attempt to define the Divine is as futile as trying to capture the beauty of a butterfly by pinning it to a display board.

It is time to put aside our ways of being right and bask together in the Peace that comforts all creatures great and small. The word God is merely a term and cannot begin to express the magnitude and splendor of the Stillness that surrounds and fills us all. God must be practiced, for God is Love. We can only awake by helping another awake.

We must pull our decision to walk straight into God around every part of us and over every instant of our day and night. We must exclude no one and no thing. We must make it the thought we wake with and the goal we cherish in our sleep. We must see no other person without light, and light will begin to pervade each crack and corner of our surroundings, until, finally, we recognize that we have never left the Place where Love watches over us.

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Spiritual Marriage

In my opinion, the marriage ceremony symbolizes a preexistent State, because Oneness is recognized, not invented. This State cannot be destroyed, but it can be forgotten. The ceremony itself is one of many ancient symbols. It celebrates the happy, eternal fact of the unity of all life and the exclusion of none. In marrying, those who are one acknowledge their Oneness.

The spiritual reality of marriage does not have to be worked at. Correctly seen, marriage need only continue unresisted. But our perception of what marriage symbolizes does have to be protected, nurtured, and tended. In a sense God gives us a beautiful garden, but we have a penchant for sowing weeds. The weeds, the issues, the destructive patterns, the large and small betrayals -- can make the garden seem overgrown and ugly.

Our "work" in marriage is to give continuing welcome to all the seemingly scattered evidences of Oneness. It is to keep our experience of the garden whole and good. We can distort our perception of its beauty, but it remains pristine. Likewise, we do not create or destroy relationships; they are given to us. We can never truly separate ourselves from another child of God.

Relationships in all their forms are perhaps our most accessible means of experiencing the Divine. God is loved and honored through the children of God. The times we set aside for prayer and meditation would appear to be our best opportunities to commune with the Divine, but if these are too closely associated with physical isolation or are mere exercises in superiority, we fail to experience our deep connection with others. Few, however, can miss seeing that the function of a marriage is to lay aside isolation and inequality and to join as one.

As the light of Truth begins to dawn in thought, we may suddenly have the mystical experience of seeing another as our self. A moment may come when we recognize that we are literally them. This makes no sense on a perceptual level, but it makes perfect sense on the level of Love. Now there is no boundary to our prayers, for we see that we have nothing to lose from another's gain.

However, the level on which only egos encounter can be depressing and fearful. As this is seen more honestly, a marriage may appear to become increasingly dark. To those consciously attempting to wake in Love, this melting of the candy shell that covers some forms of destructiveness can be very distressing and may be misinterpreted as personal failure.

There are two steps in seeing the light within our partner. What is dark must be recognized as without light or value, and light must be seen as harmless and desirable. No compromise is possible, for to continue accommodating darkness is to want another experience besides love. Couples who make any problem more important than their friendship instantly lose sight of the light of oneness.

If confrontation is seen as a value, love will appear to be a highly unstable component of the relationship. In your communications, emphasize no thought within you except your desire to increase the friendship between you. Ask yourself, "Will these words (this act, my attitude, this opinion) promote oneness or will it promote separation?"

Only through connection can we remain open to healing, and unless we are open, we will try to hurt our partner to protect what we believe must remain secret. Therefore, hold no part of you separate. Cherish no private assessments. Be transparent and harmless. And if this remains your goal, the two of you can join hands and walk past any difficulty.

Openness is a function of the heart, not of the mouth. Saying just anything to our partner, or confessing what we know will wound or devastate the one we love, is not loyalty or devotion and is certainly not kind. If we are ever to know love without limits, there can be no range to our giving. To want something from another is to utterly misunderstand their role in our happiness. Another person is our opportunity to extend what we are.

Other bodies are not our means of proving we are incomplete, burdened, or in need. That is why attempts to negotiate sometimes set in place a deterrent to free communication and peaceful relating. Negotiating can be of temporary help and is preferable to friction, but if just one partner forgives completely and replaces his own anxiety and criticisms with goodwill, he becomes the governing factor in the relationship.

Being able to talk about things and to formulate a mutual approach to difficulties is clearly desirable. But it must be kept in mind that putting pressure on one's partner is the primary cause of relationship failure.

It is not necessary to pressure our spouse to talk about what we judge to be wrong with the marriage. It is not necessary to urge our spouses to take responsibility for their part or to confess their mistakes. It is not necessary to force compromises or even to formulate rigid plans for dealing with a recurring problem. Nothing is really necessary except that we remind ourselves alone that we are not in this relationship by accident and that all that occurs can be seen in love.

A kind vision is always a possibility. It will occur when one person pauses long enough to recall their heartfelt gratitude for the crucial role their partner plays in their spiritual growth, whether their partner intends this effect or not.

Because all minds are in communication, one happy, forgiving, restful thought will of itself extend throughout all areas of a marriage. Nothing exists that can actually stand in the way of this expansion. To accept full responsibility for everything and guilt for nothing is true humility and the sure road to a truly spiritual marriage.

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The Need to "Communicate"

It seems to me that from a spiritual standpoint, we don't so much "communicate" as allow communication to be. Peace -- not attempts to change, thwart, overcome, break through, or make a point -- opens the channels of understanding and acceptance.

Real communication is actually a stepping back from the effort to "get something across." It's a moment's rest from needs. This gentle contentment permits an extension of our thoughts to others through a simultaneous welcoming of theirs.

Any self-image, held rigidly in mind, interferes with natural relating. A desire to manipulate contains the thought "This is the way you are and I want it to change." We cannot orchestrate our performance and still see clearly to whom we are speaking.

Prideful announcements, calculated compliments, verbal talents used to set us apart, "kind" words motivated by guilt, attacks on third parties, controversial pronouncements, "constructive" criticisms, and questions meant to highlight another's error are not real communication because they are not an expression of equality and therefore cannot be wholly shared.

Nor can the "I-have-something-I-need-tell-you" mindset accept with complete happiness another person's point of view.

As best we can, we must permit one softly illuminated idea of equality to encompass both parties. We settle back into enjoyment and choose to be free. At the very least we recognize that the other person doesn't owe us anything, not even understanding.

Wholeness makes no demands.

The ego's answer to verbal conflict is quickly to provide us with grounds for being right. This may lend a temporary sense of power, but only on one side of the relationship. No sense of joining can accompany it, and the apparently larger "size" of our ego soon appears hopelessly small against the universe with which we are now at odds.

If you feel a stab of anxiety as you start to speak, you have probably defined another as disconnected from your self. We need to keep in mind that our body does not have to express inequality.

Nor is mere verbal agreement the answer, because it can be, and often is, only superficial. No two egos are ever in full agreement. The promise of an exchange is not fulfilled if we arbitrarily adopt a different stance. Yet if all life emanates from Love, is anything truly opposed to us?

Unquestionably there appear to be many blocks and impasses, and numerous are the ones who stand in the way of our safety and happiness. But what can stand in the way of light if All is Light? Both perceptions of reality cannot be accurate.

The understanding and acceptance of Love is in each of us. There is always a way of seeing that, a way to have faith that if we could view others through the eyes of the Divine, we would recognize ourselves in them. Oneness is discerning the familiar in another.

Our objective is a simple one: In conversation we seek an experience, not just an intellectual exchange. We want to extend and receive enjoyment. The verbal form this takes is actually irrelevant.

To attempt correction of others is to insist that, for the moment, their faults are all there are to them. In the ultimate sense, the Universe contains no mistakes, and our insistence that it does only depresses us. Instead, we must focus on an exchange of love and drop the expectation that our gifts be treated with respect. And so we gently decline the offer to feel misunderstood or unfairly treated.

In practicing true communication, we silently join with the spirit of the one before us, which is a part of God and therefore of our Self. We wait for the eternal communication that is always occurring to dawn on our awareness, knowing it will become apparent once we have cleared a quiet spot within us where it can be heard.

A helpful approach to communication does not differ from a practical attitude toward most other situations and conditions: stillness works; attack does not.

If you were in prayer and an angry thought crossed your mind, you would not delay your communion with God by engaging in a private analysis of it or in a long refutation. You would simply open your mind to the light of day and quickly turn your attention back to God.

When we are with another, we are in a potential state of prayer with God.

That is why we cannot hide our thoughts from ourselves and still fully connect with those around us. That doesn't mean we are "honest" to our ego's ever-changing stream of petty thoughts and attitudes. Rather we are honest to the relationship. Friends know what to say and not to say to each other.

When the mind is engaged in idle reviews of old conversations or rehearsals of possible upcoming ones, it is really exercising a particular set of beliefs. This becomes our silent affirmation of how we want our lives to be.

We may, for example, fantasize mock dialogues in order to produce the feeling that our positions are right. Being "right" is the reward offered us by our ego to turn from trust to distrust, from oneness to separation. But in this turning, we also turn from God and from our Self.

One way to deal with this type of mental mis-activity is to ask, "What do I want to believe about my current relationships?" Because what we believe is what we experience. Do we want a life of confrontations? Do we want new opportunities for personal vindication? Our own selected replays of past incidents and our imagined future ones affirm that we do.

Recognizing that we have chosen mistakenly, we choose again. This time we release others from their role as victimizers and our role as victim. And we can make the same choice in the middle of a present confrontation.

We simply rest from defensiveness. We fail to characterize another's motives and function. Instead, we allow a blessing to settle over all we see and every word we hear. And we wait in Love for a new appreciation of the conversation to be given us.

In my opinion, none of this is not "serious" work. Laughter is the happiest sound on earth. And so to be delighted, or silly, or amused, or fascinated, is just as spiritual as being kind or understanding.

The rule for successful communication is to attempt to share only ideas that can be peacefully received by the other person. You and I are not special because we know a few spiritual concepts.

If there is a place of stillness in us, the same is in everyone. Love recognizes its own.

Love sees a common set of interests because it looks through moods, beyond behavior, past personal history, and into the urges for goodness that unite us with others from within. I believe it is this seeing, and not the exchange of words, that is real communication. For there is really only one Friend in all our friends.

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Love

"Love." Even the sound seems almost sibilant, the lisp of a wave across fragile sands, the song of a breeze through a pipe work of vines, the peaceful hiss of a lazy lizard. Yet love can be a stone carried in the heart to the end of life's groaning. Or a quick shattering blow to the spine of hope.

Only those who know full well the jeopardy of opening their hearts can dismiss thunder in pursuit of a ray of sun. Only those who dissolve in love's waters and rise with love's rising, a single soundless swell, clear as sight, can know the I that is you and the you that is I.

No sacrifice is needed, for that is too little. No surrender is enough, because to give our self is still to have a self.

Love is recognized whole and preexistent, the music before the sound, the movement before the dance. We may fail to hear our friend, but our friend is still beside us. We may lose sight of our partner, but our partner was always there, the ghost of brilliance once known, yet long ago blocked from sight by our hood of self-preoccupation. For what is an ego but a membrane of insanity suffocating dust?

And what is false love but the belly of God turned inside out? Perversity pervades the blinding blackness, a nude resolve tapped on the shoulder while napping, which rises only to run rabid after visions of bodies that will make it whole. Never mind that children and loved ones are left in the backwash, like microbes in spit.
Now you are running backwards down a crowded sidewalk, friends and family passing in the ocean of others. They turn their heads to see who is moving away. When they see it is you, they call out and ask why you are doing it.

But even as they speak, your legs, possessed with steel-coil resolve, continue in retreat. Before their questions have even ended, you have escaped into the foaming mouth of beer ads, babybait, and cultural approval.

Somehow, in the passing of years, you lost your reason. And your frosted faith was too feeble to persuade you that your home was blowing in the black ribbon of night.

But what is a person to do? You take a little whisky, you get a little frisky. Even lice have feelings.

What happened to us all, that love was reduced to an emotion? How did an entire species lose its way? Yet a mistake--no matter how base, no matter how widespread--calls only for correction.

Love is what happens when the mind attempts no shift or computation, none at all. Love should be as effortless as breathing and as indiscriminate as falling snow. Love is a gesture of vision that lightens the burden of all souls equally, yet begrudges not symbols of loyalty.

No one is whole who fails to understand loyalty. To withhold forms of friendship in the name of equality is to have no friends.

A gentle parent is fiercely committed and understands that children don't feel loved by parents who treat them as any other child. Symbols are not the language of logic, and oneness can't be reasoned out. The dove feels individually and uniquely warmed by the morning sun. Within the Divine, a child of God is God's only child.
Yet using love to hold onto our "own" reflects a misunderstanding of its nature. No part of love can be privately kept. Skewering a butterfly ends flight. Slice the moon and the coyote feels no song. "You owe me nothing" is the spiritual corollary of "You mean more to me than life itself."

A lamb born with no wool, love is from our Mother, who merely seeks her child. Having found it, she enfolds its history into a breathless pause. She blesses its thoughts and soulful senses until we acknowledge this self as our own, honored in our own memory, watched over in our sleep. And in return she asks only that we see as we are seen.

Care for the little ones if you would know God. See them star bright, born tomorrow as well as today, hurtling through the eternal, still enameled with peace.
Love can only accompany what is given away, and since all of love must be given in order for all of it to remain, there can be no range to our giving. There is only one kind of love--the uncalculated kind.

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How To Forgive

I once heard someone ask Bill Thetford, "How do you forgive?" He answered with his usual wry humor, "You just call the S.O.B. out and forgive him."

It took several years before I realized forgiveness actually is this simple. Anyone we want to forgive, we forgive instantly. Anyone we are conflicted about forgiving, we never quite forgive.

The root meaning of forgive is "To let go. To give back. To cease to harbor." Thus forgiveness is as easy as opening our hand and dropping what we are clutching. In fact, it's so easy that little children do it instinctively. "You're not going to invite Joie to your birthday party, are you?" asks the parent of a four-year-old. "Don't you remember what Joie did to you?" But the child answers, "Joie is fun to play with."

Unlike adults, children value the present more than the past. They would rather be happy than right. They instinctively understand that it's more fun to decide from now than from then. It's more fun to let go of a grievance than to hold on to it. Little children get it: Judgment is a very unpleasant state of mind that hurts us more than the other person.

But so often we adults don't get it. We have forgotten that forgiveness is not being nice to someone else; it's being nice to our own mind. We no longer recognize that in order to prove that other people are wrong, we must remain living proof of their guilt. We must remain damaged. Yet the person we judge is often unaware of our thoughts, which poison our relationships, weaken our health and, if not eliminated, can embitter our entire life.

The reason we have so much trouble forgiving is that we are not honest with ourselves. We haven't yet confronted our mind with the question, "What is so desirable about judging this person?" Because if we did, we would have to take responsibility for how we choose to use our mind. In short, we would have to stop being a victim. Instead, we wring our hands and say, "I've tried so hard to forgive but I just can't do it." Or we ask God to forgive for us. Or perhaps the worst, we tell ourselves that we have forgiven, when, actually, everyone around us can see clearly that we haven't.

That being said, most of us nevertheless start in a state of conflict and can benefit from following a process that gradually eliminates the conflict. In this respect, I have found that the following guidelines can be helpful.

• Forgiveness is an act of the heart, not an outward gesture. Forgiving people doesn't mean we have to spend more time with them. It doesn't mean that we refuse to fire someone, that we always lend money when asked, or that we never take legal action against an individual. It means that our primary focus is our own state of mind.
• Forgiveness occurs only in the present. We don't have to forgive for tomorrow, only for this instant. When the judgmental thoughts come back, we don't throw up our arms and say, "This is impossible." We simply once again let go of the line of thought--just interrupt it--and return, as best we can, to mental stillness and wholeness.
• Forgiveness is a gift to our mind, not to the other person. Thus we work to become fully aware of how a grievance affects us emotionally and physically and how it impacts our other relationships. We sensitize ourselves to the cues, such as the sense that the mind is tightening, that we can't remain happy, that our thoughts are stirred up, that we don't laugh as easily, and possibly even that our breathing is shallow. To stay aware of a judgmental state of mind, we have to be consistently honest with ourselves.
• · Some things are more difficult to forgive than others. The trick is to commit to the process. We do the best we can each time we get caught up in attack thoughts, and we set no time limit on our future efforts. It will take as long as it takes, and we resolve not to stop until we can think of this person in peace.

When something is particularly hard to forgive, it can be helpful to begin with a meditation, a prayer, or a guided fantasy. For example,

• Picture the person standing before you and recall everything they did to you.
• Next, remember incidents in which someone, anyone, was kind or patient or simply happy. Or remember funny things your animals have done. Notice the new sense of light that begins coming into your mind.
• Out of this light, create an imaginary costume of light. Maybe a hat, a cloak, and shoes of light.
• Mentally dress the person you have not forgiven in what you have designed.
• Finally, picture One who represents the divine standing behind this person and watch as this beloved figure walks into them.

Repeat this exercise only once or twice, then put in place a plan of what you are going to do the next time attack thoughts come to mind. Something simple such as holding the person in light, or just repeating certain words of truth, or a quick breathing exercise. (Exhale as your say, "All released." Inhale as you say, "All is peace.")

Once you have decided on your short response, commit to doing this for as long as need be. And remind yourself often that the cost of judging is much too high, while the benefits of forgiving will bless you for a lifetime.

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Guided Meditations

A consistently restful and comforting approach to mental change reflects the same throughout our body, relationships, and in all aspects of our life.

The root meaning of the word forgive is to release, to give back, to let go. Forgiveness heals because it permits all forms of attack and abuse to pass from thought. This process can be quietly pictured as easily as verbalized. The following are several guided meditations that focus on mental release and can also be used for physical healing.

Naturally, changing the body should never become a goal that substitutes for true healing. Healing is merely peace, and occurs wholly within our mind.

Make your imagery games as happy and free of conflict as God's power. Picture what delights and relaxes you, and hear only what lifts you to joy. Sing a quiet song to your mind that transforms each strain of sadness you identify. Dance your thoughts to its music, and let there be dirges no more.

Stillness Imageries

Stillness is not an absence of sound but the presence of peace. Nothing is more substantive than peace and so you can rub this deep hush of God's presence into every patch of soreness or hate. Feel the balm of peace remove completely what never really touched the Child God made out of Love itself.

Or float a blanket of God's quiet snow over every form of fear. Watch the areas of trauma relax and heal beneath the soft and luminous mantle of the Divine.

Or pour onto the damaged parts of your body a healing oil. Let it settle there like silence and spread like the gift of grace.

Or see floating down from Heaven a lovely white parachute. It carries a silver container of celestial paint marked "The Glory of God." You dip the attached brush into the rapturous golden liquid and softly spread it over each area of difficulty, until the entire landscape of your mind and body relaxes in peace.

Blessing Imageries

Giving our blessing heals, for we can always give what we have received in full. We can bless our body, which represents our present concept of ourselves, far more effortlessly than we can curse it.

Both color and music are ancient means of healing. Imagine your wounds and ailments as the sound or color you like the least. Using either the color or sound you like most, change the present tone to one of harmony. For instance, imagine gray turning into blue or honking turning into jazz. As the transformation occurs, see complete healing accompany it.

Or picture an angel of God handing you a holy lantern. Direct the strong light of benediction into any place you see fearful shadows or picture dark images. As Love's radiance focuses on the troubled spot, notice that there your body is made whole.

Or draw a circle of light around you. Fill in every shadow and all the empty spaces with light of equal brilliance. Now switch yourself on and see that you are the light of this circle. Then draw your circle around the world, and acknowledge that you are also the light of the world. Behold its brilliance arching above you and the splendor of its beauty below and all about. Rest in this vision for a long healing moment. The Truth allows no hurt to remain in anyone.

Entering the Place of Peace

Our home and God's are one, and in God's home there is no pain.

Travel to a spot where you would love to be. Any kind of place you wish to picture. Smell its perfumes and hear its gentle sounds. Leave all forms of fear behind and watch for a while only the surroundings you enjoy. Now comes your special Guardian. This happy sight is very familiar. You knew it well when you were a little child. This One is once again answering your call and brings the healing touch you requested. Now the hand of Love is gently placed where you direct. It heals whatever bothers you there. Your relief is all that this One requests, for your wholeness blesses the world.

Because God wants you to be happy, you can present to God no greater gift than one of your sorrows. Picture God waiting patiently for you to ask for help. Each time you notice anything physically or emotionally distressing, wrap it as a present and hold it out to God. Watch as Love takes it and shines it all away. Now feel the deep thanks of the Divine that you have allowed your burden to be lightened.

Or breathe your pains, your misgivings, and all your forebodings into a balloon or into a giant bubble of bubble gum. When it is full and buoyant, release it into the heavens and feel all your upset and distress transported far far away. Now all that surrounds you and fills you is Home.

Or step into the soft flow of a sacred river and allow the healing waters to wash over you and dissolve whatever distresses you within or without. With only what God made of you left behind, see how you sparkle, clean and pure, the object of endless Love.

Or if you prefer a waterfall, it is there before you now, heavenly in its beauty. It pours like love from the Heart of God. Stand for a while in its gentle downpour and allow your worries and fears to wash away. Each tiny aspect of you is cleaned and healed throughout, and now you emerge in total newness, brilliant in your harmlessness toward everyone.

Step 1: Think of someone you are angry at. Anyone you have found difficult at times or who brings to mind a fearful thought is an adequate subject. Take a moment to picture this person in detail. How they stand. How they dress. Remember anything about their body and mannerisms that seem familiar. Now add to this image any memories of insensitivity, conceit, unfairness, cruelty, stupidity or other unforgiving thoughts that come to mind. Notice how tight and small your mind becomes.

Turning your attention away from this person, recall a moment when you or someone else was thoughtful, happy or kind. The incident does not have to involve the person you are focusing on. Just think of a time when any adult, child, or animal extended their love or enjoyment to another, any moment of forbearance, generosity or humor. Notice the soft light and feeling of relaxation that comes into your mind with this thought.

Think of another incident and still another until you have within your mind a palpable sense of light. Using the touch you would use to communicate your tenderness and love, shape this light into a garment. This can be a hat and cape or coat or clothing of any kind. Now gently place this garment of light over the person who is the subject. Allow yourself a moment to see the soft glow that surrounds them.

As you continue to watch, see standing behind this person a brilliant figure of light. You may have a name for this figure -- saint, prophet, angel, guide, Jesus, Holy Spirit--or you may have none. But have no doubt that this is the Divine, the One who always comes to heal and make pure. Now watch as this holy figure walks into this person you have not yet forgiven. Pause a moment to see the light of your peace that covers them, and the Light of God that fills them. Notice that they become very still within God's presence as they feel the release within your mind, and in their own

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